Understanding Hopelessness — Perspectives in Mental Pain

When 2020 enters the realm of conversation, my immediate thoughts explode in disgust. Looking at the irreparable destruction caused to families, individuals, marriages, relationships, businesses, and trust overall, my already fractured view of society increases.

What goes through the mind of a person dealing with loss? Does that differ from hopelessness? How does that relate to depression? Does that mental process affect the brain and activity?

When dealing with emotions, rational thought evades most of us — at least temporarily (which is why suppressing a series of disappointments leads to resentment). Your body takes notice of your brain’s activity and organizes its course of action, which is why — often unnoticed — our shoulders slouch and posture changes.

Failures, disappointments, a loved one’s death, ending a committed relationship or marriage, and sudden change in financial needs (job loss, bad investment, etc.) all trigger such emotions.

MENTAL PAIN

Any of the aforementioned situations immediately causes the brain to manage the situation. Your body experiences physical pain (chest, stomach, etc. — it varies depending on the person). Unlike physical pain, there is no prosthetic or predictable time-table to manage it.

Immediately your mind jumps to solutions. If those aren’t sustainable or within the realm of reality, the uncomfortable feeling turns into panic. While I don’t HEAR voices, I imagine a word program that writes out each word — words that tell me I’m a failure. I’m an embarrassment. I humiliate everyone that cares about me.

I suffer from OCD. When these feelings occur, I’m impossible to calm down. Situations such as losing a job start to affect other areas of my life. On certain days the pain from those thoughts is inescapable. Despite knowing I won’t find the answer in alcohol, I’ll drink myself to blackout. I don’t like alcohol. In normal circumstances, I don’t drink. The pain is so deep and suffocating, and sometimes that’s the only way I can control making it stop. However, the effect the next day makes it worse.

The need to provide, represent consistency, value, and dependability matters. What kind of a loser fails to provide for…