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Isolation, Sadness, Fear and Losing Your Best Friend — A Recipe for Disaster
In September of 2020, I moved down South after living most of my life in the Northeast. COVID and unfortunate events surrounding family left me roaming between friends’ couches from the end of March until early September.
The one constant in my life since October 2005 was my Bichon Sammy. Sammy wasn’t just my dog; he understood my heart. He knew how much his presence in my life helped me during rough times.
People around me during those times knew I wouldn’t accept an invitation without Sammy. Many times I didn’t attend family gatherings if he wasn’t allowed. He needed to understand (as much as dogs can)I was loyal to him. The worst thing Sammy could imagine was watching me leave without him.
By the time I moved in September, Sammy was dying. He made it to the apartment I currently rent, but I knew time was short.
In the first week of October, despite being in my apartment for a month, I couldn’t make next month’s rent without a job. Miraculously, a friend helped me land the perfect job working remotely. Health issues prevent me from working typical jobs, so this was a pure, real miracle.
About 36 hours after getting hired, Sammy died in my arms early in the AM hours. It was as if he knew I was OK, and he could leave me. He fought so hard to stay alive for the final few months. Toward the end, I had to carry him outside and put pressure on his bladder and anus to help him pee and poop.
I’m not ashamed to admit I cried for two days after his death. However, I intended on adopting another dog. Animals — especially dogs, need good, loving homes where they can be part of a family.
Sadly, the job I viewed as a gift from heaven turned out to be temporary. Due to “cutbacks”, I was let go on December 11, one day shy of the 30th anniversary of being diagnosed with Rhabdomyosarcoma, and told I had six months to live.
I had Sammy incinerated and put in an urn. The last few days, I found myself hugging his urn and crying profusely. I plan on purchasing a puppy, but…